I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
