How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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