Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize