I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Alive.
So much puke
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
