Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
