note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
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The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
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I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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