Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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