Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
