i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
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