there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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