I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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