just tell him i said nine months
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
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And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
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She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize