I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
