Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
birth control should be required to get into college
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
