Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
