My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I still have a little drunk in my system
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
