when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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