Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
