dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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