Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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