It's just like the Real World with babies
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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