Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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