saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
