i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
