sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize