im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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