no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize
