he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
zippers are such a cool invention
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
