So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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