Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
