Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
