This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
