absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I need moral support for this bender
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
