I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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