So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I didn't notice because vodka
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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