I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
