Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
