Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
