I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
