just come out here and I will go home with you...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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