so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
