I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
