this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
