I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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