32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I forget how to act sober
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
