i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
