the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
