After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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