You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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