i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
