toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
