you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
