I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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