so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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