So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize