YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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