TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
