I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Randomize
