all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night