She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.