Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
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you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
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we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????