And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry