I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.