is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
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Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
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How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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