I think I died a long time ago.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
