im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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